A former state

Sound is a wave, like a wave on the ocean
Moon plays the ocean like a violin

The spring soundtrack has accidentally been Break it Yourself by Andrew Bird. Though the CD has been in our car forever, I’ve probably listened to it only once or twice (as evidenced by the fact that it is still relatively scratch-free).

I listened to it on a drive back from Milwaukee, the windows down, the air perfect. I was alone.

Pushing and pulling from shore to shore
Biggest melody you never heard before

I have loved listening to it with Jack in the car, seeing his fingers raised, catching at the notes.  But I had forgotten what it was to enjoy music on a solitary night drive. It was a reclamation. What would you do if the night was yours? If you were briefly your own?

If I were the night sky
Here’s my lullaby
Lullaby to leave by
If I were the night

Here is what I did – I drove down to the lake and ran to the shore, ravenous, with head back and arms open, to catch what I could of the night sky. It is, of course, too big to hold all at once. The tree behind me is a giant, is laughing softly at my fervor. In my throat, a laugh or a cry or a holler. The water, the horizon, beckoning. We are the only ones and we are wide awake.

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